The following are several books that I’ve found to be interesting, informative, and/or entertaining. I update this section regularly! I am creating a “Client’s Bookshelf” so please email me information on any book that you’ve enjoyed and found helpful. Thank you.
The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney
This is a good, basic book on what it is to be an introvert. An ‘introvert’, according to the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, is someone with a focus towards one’s own thoughts and feelings. An ‘extrovert’, on the other hand, has a personal orientation outward toward the world of people, places and things. If you’ve ever had a Myers Briggs assessment, the first letter of your four letter “type” (an “I” or an “E”) tells you where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Marti Olsen Laney provides a more detailed explanation of what makes someone an introvert or an extrovert, and provides a self-test if the reader has any doubt about his or her own temperament.
This book provides good advice for anyone who wants to learn what it means to be an introvert and is wondering how to cope with life’s essential “tasks” (relationships, parenting, socializing, and work). It also provides guidance on how to create and maintain boundaries and self-confidence, which is helpful if the reader is struggling with these issues.
Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want by Martha Beck
Martha Beck is a sociologist, writer, life coach, and regular columnist in O, the Oprah Magazine. I’ve always enjoyed her writing and point-of-view, and was happy to take this book (published in Jan/12) along with me on my trip to Ecuador in March. There, I had the time and space to take in its message – perfect – as the book is about creating in ourselves the time, space, and attention that helps us 1) understand the kind of life we want, and 2) achieve our “true nature”.
Beck offers up four tools for “transformation”: #1.”Wordlessness” – the skill of clearing your mind of the clutter and noise that distracts you from what it is that you really think, feel, want, and need; #2. “Oneness” – how to relax into the idea that you are connected to other living beings, human and beast; #3. “Imagination” – allowing you to think beyond the usual and envision what you really want; and #4. “Creation” – helping you create what you previously have only imagined. I really enjoyed this book and have peppered my copy with Post-It note flags to mark quotes and passages that I found particularly interesting. There are a few bits that are a little ‘out there’, but I don’t disbelieve a word she writes. If you’re prone to scepticism, grab a grain of salt and try the book on for size as it offers many highly useful ideas and exercises (“Wordlessness” is one of the best tools I’ve come across for being present, connected, and calm).
The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain by Brock L. Eide, M.D., M.A. and Fernetter F. Eide, M.D.
I would think that anyone with dyslexia – or anyone with a child or spouse with dyslexia – would find this book enormously helpful. It is a very positive, comprehensive, and affirming write-up that focuses on the advantages that a brain, wired for dyslexia, has to offer. The contents include chapters on how dyslexic brains differ; four areas where dyslexic brains excel; and how/where to put the dyslexic advantage to use (including the right school and workplace environments). The book is very narrative and pleasant to read. A number of individuals are profiled; one is quoted in the book as saying “I learned early on that since you can’t get out of dyslexia, you better get into it…I decided to ‘embrace the beast’… and how to be proud of who I am.” We are all wired a little differently, and I like how this book, while recognizing the challenges, highlights the benefits and real strengths that dyslexia can offer.
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.
There appears to be a growing interest in what it is to be shy, or an introvert, or a highly sensitive person. (All three are distinctly different traits, although they can, and do, overlap). This is an interesting book on what it is to be “highly sensitive”. A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has sensory receptors turned on ‘high’. Sights, sounds, physical sensations, moods, and intuition are felt louder or deeper. HSP’s can get frazzled, distressed, and unnerved as a result.
The author, Elaine Aron, describes herself as a HSP. I think this is a good book for someone wondering if they too are highly sensitive (note: not over-sensitive – just highly sensitive). There are good strategies for coping with this trait, all which essentially start with understanding and appreciating the positives of being highly sensitive and the limitations to what kind of environment the HSP will find comfortable.
This book was published in 1996; an update on the section about medication would be helpful as I think some of the author’s statements about what is “well known” may now be out of date.
Overall, this is a book worth considering.
He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Surprise! This is a fun and entertaining book that has strong therapeutic value! It gets a very good point across, very effectively – namely, women need to stop trying to “read into” a relationship where one doesn’t exist. Women can create great harm to their self-esteem when they use the reaction that they elicit from a man as a reliable indicator of their worth. When a man is “just not that into” a women, it means just that. There’s no fit. Nothing more. There’s a lid for every pot. Move on. Reading like an advice column, the book shows how some women don’t – or won’t – pay attention to what they are seeing or hearing. This book is encouraging, empowering, and entertaining. I only wish there was a similar book written for men who too need to see that they deserve better.
The Second Brain: A Groundbreaking New Understanding of Nervous Disorders of the Stomach and Intestine by Michael D. Gershon, MD
“Gut instinct”, “My gut tells me”, “I have butterflies in my stomach” – all the ways that we express emotions and thoughts. Our “guts” (the stomach, esophagus, small intestines, colon) are what Dr. Gershon (a neurobiologist) calls “our second brains” and chaos in one brain creates misery in the other. Consider this: 95% of the body’s serotonin is made in the bowel (serotonin being a key neurotransmitter in the regulation of mood, appetite, and sleep). Dr. Gershon also proposes that “the ugly gut is more intellectual than the heart and may have a greater capacity for feeling”.
This is a very interesting read, and well worth it if you wonder why your gut reacts the way it does. My only (mild) criticism is that the book gets very technical from time to time - as if the reader has switched from being a layperson to a fellow scientist.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo and Kathlyn Hendricks
This book came highly recommended by clients who had found it useful. It’s a very good book – pity that the title may turn some people off (I’d prefer “How to be a stronger adult in relationships”). The book has a strong spiritual bend which may work for some, but not for others. There are some excellent chapters that I highly recommend: “Choosing a Partner”, “Romance: The First Phase of Relationship”, and “Conflicts”. If you’re ok with (or welcome) the occasional reference to mindfulness, journalling, and meditation, there’s a lot to be taken from this book.
Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career by Herminia Ibarra
A very interesting and worthwhile perspective on making a ‘mid-career’ change. The proposition is that we try out possible roles; investigate ideas that appeal to us – “test and learn” and find out about our new career by trying on for size. This requires that we have a ‘stomach’ for uncertainty and allow ourselves the time to rule in and rule out possibilities. The author outlines her 9 “unconventional strategies”: change what we do to test out alternatives; reflect, but only after testing starts; allow for a transition period; make many small steps versus one big decision; think in terms of side projects and temporary assignment to test out options; look for role models and untried networks; pay attention to the changes you are going through and find meaning in them; step back, reflect, but then get back into action; and take advantage of windows of opportunity.
The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science by Norman Doidge, M.D.
Until quite recently, scientists viewed the brain to be “hardwired”, “fixed”, and therefore, vulnerable to lasting injury and beyond repair or the ability to “improve” functioning. Findings in “neuroplasticity” – the ability of the human brain to change as a result of one’s experience – have challenged that thinking. I highly recommend this very readable book to anyone coping with a stroke, other brain injury, or a learning disability (their own or someone else’s). Beyond that, anyone with an interest in how the brain works will thoroughly enjoy reading about: how brain plasticity can affect memory, speed of thought and the ability to learn; what neuroplasticity “teaches us about sexual attraction and love”; how neuroplastic therapy can be applied in psychoanalysis; and how plasticity can be used to stop excessive worrying, obsessions, and bad habits. It may be tough to imagine that a book about brain plasticity can make for a good read, but this one does.
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D.
Dr. Gottman is known around the world for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, backed by thirty-five years of breakthrough research on marriage and parenting. In this book, Dr. Gottman lays out the fundamentals of effective partnerships, and shows how we connect with our partners – how we talk to them, what we know about them, and how we tackle conflict and problems together – can make or break a relationship. This would be a great book for any couple who are just starting out — i.e., to nip any communication problems in the bud, but it is also a terrific book for any couples who are experiencing difficulties or want to prevent any problems from spiralling into something bigger. For those people who like questionnaires, there are plenty of those throughout the book to help gauge “how are we doing?” and “what could we be doing better?”.
Driven to Distraction: Recognizing And Coping With Attention Deficit Disorder From Childhood Through Adulthood by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey
A sense of underachievement, the frequent search for high stimulation, an intolerance for boredom, chronic procrastination, impatience, impulsiveness, restlessness, a tendency toward addictive behaviour – these are some of the suggested diagnostic criteria for Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults. Driven To Distraction is a highly readable, informative book for anyone who suspects they might have ADD or for those who have been diagnosed with ADD. It would also be invaluable to anyone parenting, living with, or working along side of someone with ADD. One of the many myths about ADD which the authors address: ADD is not for children only (both authors were diagnosed with ADD as adults). This book is written in a very positive light, providing practical behavioural approaches to manage ADD.
Shadow Syndromes: The Mild Forms of Major Mental Disorders That Sabotage Us by John J. Ratey
To be diagnosed with a mental disorder or illness, an individual needs to meet a certain threshold of symptoms or criteria. This book addresses the milder cases of disorders – sub-clinical cases where an individual only meets a few of the criteria. This is an anecdotal look at what ‘mild’ depression, ADD, anxiety, obsessive compulsive behaviour (just to name a few) can appear as, and what people can do about it. Caution: a review on amazon.com comments that Freud once said that nobody is “normal,” and after reading Shadow Syndromes, you may well be convinced of that as well.
The Sexual Paradox: Men, Women and the Real Gender Gap by Susan Pinker
This is a must-read for any woman who has wondered about how she, her values, her skills, and her mind-set, fits into what is still more or less a male dominated working world. It is a good book for anyone (female or male) who wonders how to attract and retain women in the workforce. Susan Pinker, a psychologist and a regular columnist in the Careers section of the Globe and Mail, writes about how learning and behavioural patterns between boys and girls evolves into success and happiness differences between men and women in the workforce. She compares and discusses (in a balanced, non-judgemental way) what she calls the opposites: “fragile boys” who later succeed versus “high-achieving” women who opt out or plateau in their career.
Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert
This is an entertaining, informative book on how we can make ourselves happy – or miserable. We do this by telling ourselves stories – stories which we stubbornly invest in as being the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For example, when we recall something in the past, we fill in holes in our memory with what we imagine to have happened. (No, our memories are not perfect video-taped episodes of what exactly occurred. Have you ever shared a memory with someone and come up with different details of what went on?). When we look towards the future, all we have is our imagination, grown out of experiences of the past. Our mistake, as Dr. Gilbert tells us, is that we unthinkingly treat what we imagine as though it is an accurate representation of the facts. In other words, we don’t recall the past as accurately as it happened and certainly don’t predict the future any better. This causes a lot of unnecessary grief, guilt, sadness, and anxiety. Being aware of how we use our imaginations to look back and look forward can do a lot to improve our outlook on life.
The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
This is a fascinating look at how the structure of the female brain and hormonal influences – month over month, year over year – determine how women think, act, feel, and what they value. The author, a neuropsychiatrist and neurobiologist, lays out the material in highly conversational, easy-to-read way. The reader moves through different stages of a woman’s life in each chapter: “The Birth of the Female Brain”, “Teen Girl Brain”, “The Mommy Brain”, and “The Mature Female Brain”. There are also chapters on sex, love, trust, hormone therapy, post-partum depression, and sexual orientation.
The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine
“The Female Brain” was a very interesting read – and clearly, the author’s area of expertise. The Male Brain was much less ‘in depth’. The book contains fairly interesting information about how the male brain changes over the course of a lifetime, however I think more could have been written about these brain chemistry changes impact the bio-psycho-social aspects that a male experiences. That being said, I still recommend this book.
Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life by Paul Ekman
If you watched and enjoyed “Lie to Me” – a television program that ran for 3 seasons – you are likely to enjoy this book. Lie to Me is based on the work of Dr. Paul Ekman (played beautifully by Tim Roth in the show), a world expert on facial expressions and a professor of psychology at the University of California medical school. Using photographs and stories, Ekman tells and shows us how facial expressions are rich with information. He also talks about what triggers emotion and what each emotion (sadness, anger, contempt, fear, etc.) is all about. Dr. Ekman has also written “Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage” – also an excellent book. Dr. Ekman is highly sought out in his work as an advisor to police departments, antiterrorism groups, and Pixar (who depend heavily on accurate and animated expressions).
50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Misconceptions about Human Behavior by Scott O. Lilienfeld, Steven Jay Lynn, John Ruscio, Barry L. Beyerstein
The presentation of a great deal of research debunking common beliefs about memory, teen-age behaviour, mid-life crisis, personality, mental illnesses, learning, etc.
How We Die: Reflections of Life’s Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland
I found this book very interesting: how we live and how we – the patient, the family, the doctors, and society – treat dying.
Life after Loss: A Practical Guide to Renewing Your Life after Experiencing Major Loss by Bob Deits
This book is well written, clear and straightforward about coping with loss – a death, divorce, a professional change, or any other type of significant loss. I highly recommend it.
Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife’s Guide to Recovery and Renewal by Vikki Stark
It is not uncommon for me to meet a client who has had their relationship abruptly and surprisingly severed by their spouse/partner. Although it is written by a women (whose husband left her) to help other women who have been “abandoned” by their husbands, it could be of some help to a man in a similar situation.
Letters to a Young Therapist by Mary Pipher
This book is more about life than about therapy. In the letters, a well-known, practiced therapist writes to a psychology student about life, working with people, and their shared profession. It’s more a narrative on human nature than anything – and it was very enjoyable to read.
On Being a Therapist by Jeffrey A. Kottler
A great book for any therapist – or anyone in a ‘helping profession’ to read.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Mate, Peter A. Levine
A few years ago, I attended a 2-day workshop by Dr. Gabor Mate on the subject of addiction and its bio-psycho-social causes. If you have any interest in addiction – personal, professional, or otherwise – I highly recommend this book for the facts and perspective it offers. Dr. Mate has written a number of books and if you get a chance to hear him speak, go. He presents in a wonderfully experienced, gentle, professional, and insightful manner.
Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart by Alan D. Wolfelt
I thought this book was good. It takes a very spiritual perspective on grief and healing – which will appeal to some, but not all. It’s worth a look.
Every Patient Tells a Story by Lisa Sanders
Lisa Sanders is Assistant Professor of Medicine (General Medicine) at the Yale School of Medicine, a technical advisor for the television show “House”, a former CBS News producer, and an author. Her book is a very interesting treatment on the art and science of medical diagnosis. The subject matter is medicine but the concepts can be widely applied: listen carefully to clients/patients/others for their full story, be educated by them, explore different causes, remote possibilities, and possible solutions, and avoid coming to and adhering to a conclusion too early.
Magnificent Mind at Any Age: Natural Ways to Unleash Your Brain’s Maximum Potential by Daniel G. Amen
I like so many of Dr. Amen’s books – his approach to brain science, chemistry, behaviour, choice, etc. This is a very interesting read.
The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin Yalom
A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel H. Pink
Buyology: Truth and Lies About Why We Buy by Martin Lindstrom, Paco Underhill
Other titles that I’ve enjoyed:
The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls
This is a very entertaining true story about the author’s childhood – raised by a man and woman who were good people, but dreadful parents. A terrific example of the power of resilience and strong self-esteem despite an environment that could otherwise have been defeating.
Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls
Although the timeline of this book occurs before The Glass Castle, I recommend you read this one second. It’s a “fictionalized”
account of the author’s grandmother (fictionalized because all the author had to go on was stories that she couldn’t prove or disprove). Another terrific story.
Wine and War: The French, the Nazis, and the Battle for France’s Greatest Treasure
by Donald Kladstrup, Petie Kladstrup
Really interesting – particularly if you have an interest in: 1) France; 2) WWII and the German occupation of France; and 3) wine.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows
I tend to read non-fiction so this historical fiction was a perfect at-the-beach read. It also told me a lot about the German occupation of the Channel Islands during WW2. I really enjoyed this book.
Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand: A Novel by Helen Simonson
This is a light, entertaining story. I’m sure it will be made into a rom-com, and hopefully, it will be done well.
Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know by Alexandra Horowitz
If you have a dog, or if you just like dogs – I think you’ll enjoy this book. It explains a lot about what dogs do and why, and debunks a few myths.
Damage Control: How to Tiptoe Away from the Smoking Wreckage of your Latest Screw-Up with a Minimum of Harm to Your Reputation by David Eddie, Pat Lynch
I enjoy Dave Eddie’s weekly column in the Globe and Mail; his book is fairly similar and equally fun to read.